Getting Him Excited About Sex Toys
So you’re looking to introduce some spice into your love-life, but you’re worried your man may not be so keen on the idea? If so, check out this article from relationship coach Jay Cataldo which gives you a four-step process for gently introducing toys into your relationship.
Four Simple Steps To Getting Him Excited About Sex Toys
Step #1: Feel him out
Don’t just show up in bed one day with a basket full of goodies. Believe it or not, a lot of men who are fine with the idea of toys weren’t always so open-minded.
Start by bringing up the idea right after sex, while you’re still lying in bed together. Say something like, “I read some article in Cosmo about sex toys and I was just wondering what you thought about them.” (Note: Saying you read an article on the topic prevents him from asking, “Where did that come from all of a sudden?”) Hopefully, he’ll open up at this point and you can get a better idea of how he feels about them.
Step #2: Get him interested
The next step is to listen to what he has to say and continue to probe for more info (ask if there’s a certain toy that he’s thought about bringing into the bedroom, for instance). At this point, make some suggestions of your own and see how he responds.
If he comes back with an over-the-top kinky request, don’t ruin the mood by making him feel bad about it (“You want to do WHAT to my butt?!? Oh HELLLLL no!”). Instead, say something like, “That sounds like fun, honey, but I’m not sure I feel comfortable trying that right off the bat. Let’s start off with some baby steps and see how it goes, ok? I was thinking….” and then suggest the toy you’ve had your eye on. If he seems ok with your suggestion, move on to step #3.
Step #3: Turn things up a notch
Now that you’ve got the green light, take a few days and work on getting him even more excited about the idea. The next time you’re in bed together, tell him to close his eyes and narrate a little scene involving the two of you and the toy (this is a great way to get him really turned on). Keep planting these little seeds the next few times you have sex and don’t be surprised if he runs out and buys the toy himself.
Step #4: If he hasn’t done so already, go ahead and make the first purchase
If your man hasn’t taken the lead and brought something home by now, go ahead and purchase the item the two of you have been discussing. The last step, of course, is to use that item. Hopefully, you can figure this part out on your own. 😉
A few more quick tips:
A sex toy should spice up the routine… not BECOME the routine. Use it no more than a couple of times a month so it doesn’t get played out. And if it does, repeat this entire process to get him excited about the next one on your list.
When purchasing anything penis-shaped, keep in mind that many men will worry that this new object will one-up them in some way and make them obsolete. The vibrations and unlimited stamina are already enough to make your partner a bit insecure so don’t add to this by buying something a lot bigger than, umm…. he is. Unless he suggests that you get something larger, stick to something his size or smaller. You don’t want to erase all the hard work you just did by giving him a new complex.
And finally, don’t fall in love with the toy and make his biggest fear come true. If you plan on using it when he’s not around, then don’t make a habit of it, otherwise it may desensitize you to “normal” sex, over time. If you fail to heed my advice and your addiction ends up spiraling out of control, notify your friends immediately so they can stage a Sex-In-The-City-Style intervention. 😛
-Jay Cataldo
www.DefinitiveDiva.com
Posted by CiCi 
flirtydivasnj.wordpress.com 